By Sergio Loyo
I lost a lot of business. Surely if I had the knowledge I have now, things would have been different.
E.g., I never imagined the importance of Social Roles, let alone the relevance they have when we confuse them.
I agree with people who believe that “people do not change”. To a great extent I have reason to believe: as long as we have problems and we try to solve them in the same way, we will get the same results.
Months ago I had the opportunity to attend a module of “Social Roles” taught by Michael Blumenstein and Katia del Rivero as part of the “Master VISI Coach” training. Knowing this theory I thought things did not have to follow in the same way, especially if it allowed me to distinguish my shares with the appropriate Social Role in every situation.
I began to be aware of the speed with which my interlocutors and I are able to change the social role in a daily conversation. Suddenly speaking as an adult and in the next speech talking like a child. Imagine how the partner of a company would look like a child to a collaborator or an executive talking to a subordinate as a mother? This was a way to begin to distinguish them.
In my family it was said: “when in Rome, do as romans do” and in that same tenor it is necessary to put the social roles.
Days before the training I felt bad because at a business meeting I had lost control of the negotiation and I allowed my companion (much to my regret) to take over the direction of the project.
I realized that it was not the first time this happened to me, in fact, I identified the same clumsiness throughout my life: “release the steering wheel.” The events arising after that, have always direct me to leave the company and the subsequent closure.
During all this time I did not realize that I was summoning to negotiate my inner child. It was too much responsibility for an infant! And his fear made me abandon the business and / or yield it with my consequent frustration.
Social Roles — from my perspective — are the interactions of personalities and others in a given situation. It seems easy to say it that way, however the situation becomes complex and problematic when such personalities appear in situations that do not correspond to them
I want to share with you that when I am in an unsustainable situation, I immediately ask myself if it is the right role in that situation. That is the way in which I have been able to regain ground in this business world.
If you do not want to have difficulties in your company or in your personal relationships, it might be helpful to ask yourself: Am I in the right Social Role?
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