by Katia Del Rivero

What Does Stuck Mean?
The word “stuck” is the past participle adjective from “stick” and means “unable to go any further.”
When we ask ourselves “Am I stuck with my employment history?”, we are talking about exploring if there’s something that’s blocking the professional flow.
And the first question we would like to make you is: “Are you pleased with your professional life?” And please, I invite you to use only one of the following answers: yes, no or I don’t know.
If your answer is not a convincing, clear and confident “yes”, then let me tell you there’s a chance (let me say this as sweetly as possible) that a piece of your heart is stuck in history and is not letting the present flow and stops the future from being built with all of “yourself” present.
I Left My Heart at “My Best” Job
This is a process I’ve seen many times through my life of accompaniment. Those who had a meaningful job, whereas it was the first and they learned a lot there, they “got” to the position they dreamed of, because it was at the company that worked like they thought companies should and then it was over (no matter if they were fired or if they chose to leave) and their heart stayed there.
How to know if that’s your case? Ask yourself, do you miss any past job? Do you feel nostalgia because it is over? Do you often talk about how things used to be in another company? Do you miss the “forms” of one of your previous jobs? When you begin a conversation do you usually start with “In “N” company we used to…?
If one or more of this reflections makes sense to you, maybe, if you want to, you need to search the peace of your heart, of your passion, of your sense of belonging.
Taking what’s your, what belongs to you from that experience is really useful most of the times. Realizing that you have skills, resources, and opportunities due to everything you learned and developed means you lost nothing, means you only need to look towards the future and look at it with the eyes of someone who’s capable of facing it.
I Shouldn’t Have Made That Mistake
Another of the many places I’ve seen we leave our hearts in is when we consider we “made a mistake” that marked the beginning of a bad stage, a decline, or simply a high impact, and otherwise “we would find ourselves in a different place.”
Particularly I don’t believe the decision created the consequence of unfortunate events, but the “mistake” construction people build about that decision. And since they consider they “did something wrong” and that “must have consequences” then they take what they believe “belongs” to them. It’s a future co-construction process based on an unsatisfactory self-evaluation.
“Mistakes” are choices we made, that today we call “bad decisions”.
Michael Blumenstein used to say they aren’t “good or bad decisions”, only “decisions”. And the best thing we can do about them is “making something good about them, or change them.”
“Look at ourselves again with kindness”, will let us see things that were born and are greatly valuable thanks to that decision. Be kind to ourselves and give us the chance to start again is something I’ve seen is quite useful too.
In the end, like Michael used to say, “it’s never late for a new contribution.”
I Never Wanted This
One of the most touching stories I’ve accompanied was the one from an employee that for 25 years worked at a company. Even though the organization offered him to retire because they didn’t see him satisfied, he wouldn’t accept and would keep on behaviors of very few contributions for a good result and environment.
After a conversation where we explored what he wanted, he realized he had worked for so long in something he never wanted because he had promised his had he was going to work there, that was his father’s dream.
Few things have been so touching as watching him tell his dad: “I’ve already done my part, I can go now and do what I’ve always wanted.”
Time after I knew he had retired and was doing what he dreamed since he was 21, but had left behind to fulfill his dad’s dream.
In my experience, those who aren’t pleased with their jobs because they’re doing something they don’t like must become responsible for their decision. It’s important for them to notice that even when they don’t like what they are doing, or have a good reason to stay, they are choosing to stay.
Also, they must remember that they will always have at least 3 choices: one, loving what they chose for the reason they choose it and enjoy for their own well being. Two, change it and adjust it so it becomes more satisfactory — if this is possible — . Or three, leave it behind and do something new.
Michael used to say that there’s always a fourth alternative, suffer it.
In any of those options the choice is yours, and yours only. What do you need to get back your heart and your passion? What choice do you make?
Closure is Bringing All of Yourself to the Present
When we talk about closure, letting go so your professional flow can continue moving, we talk about you being present in the present of your heart, mind, skills, experience, potential… With your life at its fullest today and set on whatever you do or want to do.
Where’s your heart? Is it complete today, here and now? With your focus on the future you want for yourself? If any of the previous answers is no, maybe you need to go search for the piece or pieces of heart you left behind.
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