We are usually afraid of pain. Definitely we don’t like feeling it. If we search in Google we’ll find hundreds and hundreds of websites that start with subjects like “how to avoid -ache…” backache, headache, stomachache, heartache, the pain after a break up, after a loss…
But, why do we want to avoid pain? From my point of view, it’s because we have given too much emphasis and myth to this idea of happiness as a lifestyle. And we understand it as something that you have or not. That beyond having happiness in our lives, we have to meet certain requirements like not feeling pain.
It’s just that pain is part of our lives. It’s part of our central nervous system and it has a life function in life. Are you surprised?
Pain allows us to take our hand out of a hot stove so we don’t get burned. Pain protects us and even gives us time to take care of what requires attention and healing.
For example, when we have surgery it reminds us that we have to be careful with our movements in order for the wound to heal and lets us know when it’s not healing.
In this way pain is part of life. The problem is not pain, the problem is the reality construction we make based on pain. Instead of seeing it as something that takes care of us, that let’s us know about the times and rhythms our body needs to heal, that indicates us when it’s obviously necessary to take action in order to take care of ourselves and our lives, we understand it as something, ugly, bad, horrible and that we should avoid.
When we listen it and we take care of the need his calling our attention to, it usually disappears soon. When I have my hand on the fire the burning disappears when I take my hand away, if I burned myself in such a way that now I have a wound, the pain will disappear when my skin is restored. The first pain is different from the second one. Because every pain has a meaning for the body.
There Are Pains And Aches
Physical pains are different from emotional pains. And each pain has it’s own form according to people. That is to say that some of us are more sensitive to the light than to heat. Some others tolerate light and heat, but can stand noses, not to talk about physical stimulates.
Talking about emotions, some of us can be hurt and in great pain because of certain reasons, that to others are meaningless.
What makes the difference?
In the context of pain that is not linked to biology, the difference is in reality constructions. That means, the the meaning we have learned to give to certain events. Therefore for some people may be deeply hurt if you give away a present they gave you, and for someone else it might mean nothing.
The Pain After the Earthquake
If you’ve been in “pain” since the earthquake, I mean that feeling that your chest is under pressure and you can’t breathe, being afraid, extremely alert, in all of this your body is trying to ask you for something… have you heard it already? have you payed attention to its needs?
When we don’t listen or pay attention to our needs, if they risk our lives, literally or not, the pain will rise, not to bother us, but because it is trying to take care of us.
As we pay attention to the needs that pain tries to alert us of, there’s a bigger chance that it goes away soon, opening up to a reestablishment period.
What Do We Commonly Do?
We avoid it, trying not to feel it, not to listen it, and then it’s like an invitation for it to become stronger until it’s listened.
Another possibility is that we exacerbate it. Then, we make it bigger, we oversize it and then we become smaller facing pain and we turn it into suffering.
Either of this two possibilities limits our ability to react and take care of our life.
So, if you have a feeling of anguish, fear, or pain after the earthquake, maybe it’s the best time for you to ask yourself. what do I need? what am I missing? what does this feeling is trying to remember us about or tell us? what can I do to understand it? perhaps, I need help?
I believe that going through pain, staring at it, listening to it allows us to go through it soon and come out stronger.
Let it be like this in Mexico today.
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