by Katia del Rivero

A Different Perspective

For many years the topic of closure has been a passion of mine. For many years I’ve written about it from different perspectives, methodologies and life momentos. Today, I would like to come to the topic from the perspective of the Blumenstein Theory ©.

Is maybe the most challenging approach I’ve written about so far. From my point of view, includes all my past ideas and invites us to go back, from a place of autonomy, to assume the responsibility of our lives and our wellbeing.

“Cycle” is a concept. Is the name we have given to the natural process in which it seems something has a beginning and then and end only to begin again.

“Time” is also a concept. Past is how we call the events that have already happened, present to the ones that are happening now and future to those that are about to happen.

Even though as a society we have created mechanisms and forms that help homologate our reality construction of these concepts by naming them, and explaining their differences by describing them, still, each one of us experiences them in a unique way.

For example, the Earth movement around its own axis we call “rotation” and the differences this movement creates, we call night and day. And the way we measure these differences we call seconds, minutes, hours or days.

And even when we all understand more or less the same when someone says “one minute” we experience that particular minute in very different ways depending on if we spend it with someone we love, facing imminent danger or sitting under an umbrella at the beach.

Closure

What is the origin of closure processes? I believe it has its origin in this last part, in the way we experience life processes and the life events we experience along the way.

A tree doesn’t seem to get sad when his time has come, doesn’t seem to feel joy when rain sprinkles it, doesn’t seem to get mad when the winter cold takes away its leaves and doesn’t seem to be surprised when the autumn turns them brown. Apparently, the tree lives each instant and each moment.

Usually, humans don’t experience these processes like this. If an event was too painful is possible that even after five or ten years, I still experience it as if I were living it in the present.

If an event was particularly nice, closing my eyes and remembering it in my mind can create the same amount of neurotransmitters that I created on the day I lived it.

So, when we talk about closure, we talk about “catching up”, we talk about using our life focus and our energy to build. A process than can result very difficult when our heart, mind or reality construction are stuck in a moment that we cannot change nor repeat, no matter how awful or beautiful it has been.

What apparently is what the tree does? Takes the strength that water and rain gives it, uses the nutrients stored during autumn to survive the winter and is ready to bloom during spring. Meaning, takes whatever it experiences and transforms it into a resource for its own life.

Closure, is doing exactly that. The same thing the tree does. Is to take whatever we have experienced and transform it into force life for our own life.

This means that if I experienced something awful and painful, I don’t get “stuck” in it, but to be able to realize that I’m still alive and that surviving that experience gave me resources, strength, resilience, life chances.

If I experienced something beautiful, be thankful for it, appreciate it and honor it by opening myself to the chance of experiencing something new equally beautiful, maybe in a different way.

How To Do That?

For many years I offered a process that I thought could be useful for everyone. I still think is a good process. Maybe the only precision I would like to make this time is that is not a rule, is not a lineal process and is not necessarily useful for everyone. If this is your case, I invite you to find your own way to close.

The process I propose has three steps:

1.- To see
To see means to be able to see beyond what has happened. It means to explore with the eyes of many observants the situation in a way that I’m able to find peace, a feeling of balance, of no debt, of complete assent.

2.- To be thankful and acknowledge
It means that I’m able to take from the experience the good that left behind, what is useful and valuable, what increases and gives my life force.

3.- To honor
It means “doing”, transforming the experience and learning into wellbeing and a good life for me.

The rhythm and time each of us takes in this process is completely personal. The way each of us responds to different situations is completely different. A closure process can last a day or two years. A closure process can be challenging in the first step or in the third one. A closure process can begin with step number two and from there move to whatever feels ok.

Closure is moving forward with life, is living the present looking towards the future. Closure is to live life with all the life force we have. Closure is to make myself responsible of me and my reality constructions. Closure is reborn each day as life itself.

Recommended Posts

No comment yet, add your voice below!


Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *