This week I had the chance to witness some of those moments that remind me why I do what I do. They make me remember why I think Michael Blumenstein was an outstanding human being. Why Blumenstein Theory is a path towards peace. Why I live for what I do, why this is my source of reconnection with life.

This afternoon I saw two men hug each other with deep fondness after talking for a couple of hours. This week I saw a little girl that had ended up in the hospital because of stress. I had the privilege to witness people looking and saying thanks to each other. I heard others talking about their fears and looked at them finding ways to face them. I heard people distanced in their hearts from their activities find a way to connect again to contribute from their perspectives in a two-hour lapse. And I saw others fill up with new energy facing the possibility of listening and making contributions.

Do All Dialogues Have the Same Base?

What made this “miracles” possible? The dialogue I learned from Michael Blumenstein.

There’s a lot of text about dialogue, authors like Buber and Bohm are a reference on this subject. I had experimented with previous dialogues with “form”, before I met Michael, although my experience wasn’t inviting.

Methodologies like “world coffee”, “labyrinth”, “open space”, “lego serious play” are forms that have common bases of modern dialogue forms.

The Form’s Form

What makes the difference for me in dialogue? The form’s form.

Dialogue is a form itself. Is a structure that we offer to exchange ideas.

If this structure incorporates forms that give it purpose, that allow some basic premises to happen, then these ideas exchange turns into an effective way to build dialogue collectively.

There are three conditions that boost dialogue:

1. Purpose Clarity. Dialogue must be a space for construction and this process begins with purpose clarity, why are we here? what do we want? If we don’t know, how can we find out, or co-create it?

2. Value Equality. In order for the process to work it’s indispensable for the form to offer value equality for participants, contributions, and contribution times. Because it is in this value equality where the possibility of listening what hasn’t been heard, of looking what hasn’t been seen, of discovering what has been hiding emerges.

3. Speaking from the Heart. This phrase from Michael Blumenstein is probably one of the most powerful and deep lessons in my life. I realize, these days mostly, that every time something makes me uncomfortable, is because someone “jumped in my tomatoes” and talked about me and not from his/her heart. Every time I see a contribution and it’s not mine it doesn’t seem to represent the invitation I offered, usually when I analyze it I realize I stopped talking from the heart and jumped into someone else’s tomatoes.

Dialogue as a Life Style

Although dialogue today is used in lots of dimensions like mediation, negotiation, organization, teamwork, collaboration, etc. I believe dialogue is not a form in some specific situations, dialogue is a form for life.

When you and I learn to live dialoguing new possibilities emerge from the social construction of our world. Do you imagine yourself speaking in consideration that all of us have the same value? That we all have a reason to be together and if not we can create it? That there’s a purpose that joins us and it is helping each other so we can live?

Do you imagine a world where we can listen, integrate, respect and even explore others constructions without them seeming so strange to me?

That’s living in dialogue. Learning to live in dialogue is an excellent first step.

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