By Katia Del Rivero

Possibilities Are the Key

When I was young — around 1985 — the trending TV series was “MacGyver.” For me, it was very amusing. Because of the ability, the main character had to come out from the most complicated situations with the minimum sources. Sometimes it was a match, a razor, a curtain’s rope, a clip, or just a thread.

Why did we fell in love with Indiana Jones — besides the fact that Harrison Ford is quite handsome — ? Because he was able to come out from complex and dangerous situations using, basically, anything around him.

I believe these characters seem appealing because they remind us of our ability to overcome hard situations. We like with invites us to feel safe facing whatever life places in front of us.

And somehow we know that, in a world of uncertainty, the more chances of action we create, will give us a better chance to survive, and a better possibility to feel capable and enough for life.

An Education That Invites Us to Restrict Our Options

If we look at a kid whose lollipop just fell, he won’t mind picking it up and licking it again. If the same thing happened to an adult — assuming he likes candy, which he may not because of all the prejudices of society — he will most likely pick it up and put it in the trash.

So were a kid sees alternatives and safeness, an adult sees no options and danger. This phenomenon comes from the “knowledge” that there are things that are good for us and others that don’t, things that are correct and others that are incorrect.

It Is Good For Me or It Puts Me at Risk

Our organism has a primary system that tells us what is good for us. I can almost hear it say “Food, that’s good.” And it also identifies what is risky. Hearing it say “Danger, you are in danger.”

This system lodged in our brain, found in the “reptilian” zone, is like a “tiny worm” according to author Maja Storch.

This worm is the fastest response we have — 250 times faster than other decision-making processes — and evaluates if we are at risk or not. If what we are facing is good for us or not.

This tiny worm feeds from our experience and reacts according to it. It also supplies from our social system experiences. Since conceived, it incorporates whatever the social system considers risky. Therefore, we can say it feeds from life experiences.

Under this understanding, if a dog scared you as a kid, although you might not remember, your worm may react swiftly facing dogs. Accelerating your heart rate, sweating cold, or with any other physical reaction.

It’s Correct or Incorrect

As we developed our survival capacity, we discovered we survived easier if we stayed together. However, staying together means we most have some agreements. Things as simple as killing your neighbor because you like his eye color is not a great survival idea. Because maybe, if you need to go hunting a Mamut together tomorrow, is going to be nice to have him around, and it will increase your chances to triumph.

It is convenient to note that our repertoire of right and wrong is in the “newest” part of our brain. It is way slower than the worm for analyzing situations, reference it with the saved experiences, and determine if it is correct or incorrect.

This system takes care that we can find a safe survival space in the social and collective context we developed. It’s like a “tiny judge” who determines — according to what was learned — what is correct and what’s not.

For example, if you were born in Arabic culture, the judge will tell you that is ok to burp after eating, whereas if you grew up in Mexico, the judge might talk you on not to do it.

Both Take Care of Us And Don’t Always Agree

These systems are always at our service, and not always agree. Imagine this situation: the worm sees a beautiful girl and wants everything with her. The judge warns him: “she has a ring on her ring finger, she’s married.”

The worm, says: “I don’t care, I want.” The judge, answers back: “it doesn’t matter if you want, is not ok for you to get involved with a woman who’s married already.”

And it goes on until they agree. Is not the judge who always wins. Sometimes the worm has more convincing arguments.

The thing is that the mix of the worm and the judge determine the alternatives that we have facing a situation. If our judge is too strict and his right frame is limited, we will generate few options. And then our worm will go nuts.

When both systems fight one another, there’s a great chance that we will freeze. And consider there are no options, and go into helplessness, forgetting our enoughness facing life.

Learning how to conciliate this to decision systems widens our response capacity and invites us to strengthen our enoughness facing life.

Do you want to know how? We’ll talk about it in our next reflection.

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