By Katia Del Rivero

Versión en Español

I was talking with someone I’ve learned to love very much recently, and he was telling me about his lifestyle specifically his relationships. He had an interesting quote: “I may live alone, but I’m never lonely.”

Exploring with him what did that meant, he told me there’s always someone whom he goes out, talks, keeps a relationship with, and nevertheless; he’s never had a serious relationship.

It called my attention when he finished his explanation, and said: “And now you’ll probably try to convince me that your way is much better.” My way meaning that a year after Michael passed away I still feel the same love I felt for him when he was alive, and I don’t feel like having a new relationship and less one that goes toward something serious.

I laughed facing his contribution and answered: “Not at all. I don’t have that thinking structure. I don’t in terms of better or worse. I don’t think in terms of good or bad, I think in terms of different and different is not better or worse, it’s only different.

I felt deeply grateful with Michael, because I learnt from him this way of appreciating the world.

And today, 10 days away from starting a new year we usually make a balance of the this year, and I asked myself: what kind of balance are we going to make?

In Terms of Counts

Mostly we count in terms of good and bad. If this year was great, we want the next one to be excellent. If it was bad, then we want it to be good. If it was regular, then we aspire to a better one. And in this dimension it would look like we are subtly devaluating what we’ve already lived seeking for more.

What would happen if we didn’t totalize a year of our life in an “evaluation” of the last year? What would happen if could look at our life’s diversity and include it all? Was it a good or a bad year? Or where there moments that were greatly enjoyable for us and that maybe shaded others that weren’t that nice; or moments/situations that were complicated and painful, that shaded others that were more enjoyable and pleasant.

So closing this year I want to invite you to make a different balance, a balance from the Blumenstein Theory.

If you feel that you had a “bad” year, I invite you to remember what you enjoyed: maybe it was an ice cream or the smile of someone, maybe someone’s support.

Focus on something that makes an invitation to you to mean with gratefulness towards life the life experience you had this 2017, because no matter what happened, you were absolutely capable.

What was it? Remember it! Cherish it! Value it! Don’t let it fo! Because that was part of your strength towards adversity.

If you feel like it was a good year, maybe it would be nice if you took a moment to remember all the hard, tough, sad, and painful situations you lived, maybe they were few maybe they were almost imperceptible.

Maybe you ask yourself: what for? why should I be sad about it? why should I remember what bothers me?

I’m not inviting you to be sad or annoyed, I’m inviting you to remember all the things you learned through those situations -no matter how little they were-, so that in the future they come again you don’t forget that you were able to deal with it and live. And that life isn’t good or bad, happy or sad, it’s just life.

The Count Results

Maybe while you’re counting you might be tempted to judge yourself or even devalue yourself for what didn’t came out as you expected, for what you think you did wrong; I invite you “to be kind with yourself” as Michael Blumenstein used to say.

Are you alive? I’m sure you are, if you weren’t you wouldn’t be here: reading, breathing, then you can say you did it “well enough”. Recognize it! Value it!

Is there anything you would like differently? Good! Identify what it is, and how would it be if it had changed already and ask yourself: What can I do to build this difference?

Just remember that different is not “better or worse” is just different. Today that we give happiness, positivity, everything has to be right so much importance; maybe the Blumenstein Theory perspective can remind you about the compassion, love, and value of life itself, without adjectives or conditions.

May you live this 2018, and if you choose it that way, may you live this life as a good life, with everything that she brings and comes with.

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